Dorothy Parker said, "This is not a book to be tossed aside lightly, it should be thrown with great force." I had always had respect for books before I read this book. I hurled it across the room in fury. Never have I read such cliche ridden rubbish. Don't waste your money.
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This polemic is an attack on humanism. Is it just another deluded philosophy? Nothing more than the various religions it tries so hard to differentiate itself from?
If you are going to constructively criticise something, you need to be sure you understand what it is you are criticising. Does Gray? Most religions use scripture as some sort of starting point to define their belief system. Christianity has the Bible, Islam the Koran, Hindu has - amongst others - the Upanishads. Each religion then tries to interpret their respective scripture. They may disagree on the details but the basis of the belief system is defined. Humanism, has no scripture. So is it just a subjective philosophy?
This book has an incredibly original take on culture, religion and national politics which attempts to elucidate the foundations upon which today's thought, political rhetoric and beliefs stand.
I will keep this review short and simply say that you do not need a guidebook to take you through his ideas - his writing is clear and compelling. This takes you on a journey through history looking at how ideas of social idealism, utopianism, action, intervention etc. have "developed" (or perhaps "changed" might be a more appropriate term). Implications for today's world are clear in each word, but are drawn out skillfully throughout the book. This should be of interest to anybody interested in social issues from international/ cultural conflict to language, politics ... Read More:
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I read this book very recently and was purturbed by it as it does seem to suggest that the only really happy realtionships we can experience in this life might be same sex partnerships - I doubt this was the author's intention but that's how it struck me. Anyone else feel the same? I'm straight by the way.
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I was shocked and angered by Mr Gray's Victorian attitudes towards sexuality. I would beg anyone - especially male readers - to treat this book with a big pinch of salt. I feel it's damaging to men, who are human beings and not mechanical sex drones, because it implies that they both want to and are able to have sex anytime anywhere and are ruled by their pants at all times (not true) and that women are not sexual beings and have to be gently guided and educated into how to have fun during sex (oh, how not true is that!!!) In the 19th century, this would have been acceptable, in the 20th century it might have been forgiveable, but now we really should have seen the back of this type of damaging stereotyping. Read with salt shaker in hand.
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I am single and was looking for advice about men and why they are so different. This book is just aimed at couples and does not give any skills for finding the right man. Its a wee bit too nice too. The best book I have ever read about finding the secrets of men is by Susan Crain Bakos - What Men Really Want. There is a lot about sex but thats what is normally at the forefront of most mens mind anyway - isn't that right guys. So once you understand about that then you will understand why they behave like they do!!!
I would recommend the Mars and Venus book to a middle aged, middle of the road married couple who don't understand each other!!!!
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This book starts off very well with a scientific discussion of why men and women differ, which is very gratifying.
Gray then uses the book as an excuse basically to adumbrate his previous ideas and strategies - clothed in 'post-modern' language, with the subtext that 'society has changed' since he wrote his last book.
Yeah, well, maybe, and it's true there are some new ideas but basically his solutions are the same. Also, some of the dialogues are really stilted - would he really speak to his wife like that?
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John Gray argues global capitalism is an unworkable, unattainable, unrealizable economic delusion. There are several reasons for this. Among them:
1. A free market is antithetical to democracy. A democracy where everyone has a say will never want a fully fledged free market because the losers will always outnumber the winners.
2. People will never be happy in a free market because the stress in their lifes will be too high as a result from the uncertainties of the free market.
3. The free market neglects human needs for social identity and social security. This means people will have no sense of loyality to state or political edifices. Lassez faire economics can only inevitably self implode.
John Gray's book emphasizes open communication in his book between men and women This is clearly important.
But, the open communication isn't so open at times. Gray doesn't encourage being candid at times. This is a slippery slope. For example, Gray says that if a man is late because of an accident on a bridge, he should apologize without explaining the reason for being late, and the woman should be nonjudgmental. Is this communication relationship enhancing?
Also, he frequently over emphasizes the differerences in men and women without acknowledging their similarities enough. For example, Gray's simplistic view of men as the wrongdoers in relationships and women as the saviors weakens the material. He explains in detail how men should learn to apologize and ... Read More:
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